WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Interim U.S. attorney Lindsey Halligan revealed on Wednesday that her lifelong dream is to someday go to law school. “Some people grow up dreaming of being a doctor or a teacher or a firefighter,” she told reporters. “Ever since I was a little kid I’ve always dreamed of being a lawyer.” Imagining what life would be like if she went to law school, Halligan said, “I wouldn’t make so many mistakes in court and judges wouldn’t always be yelling at me.” Halligan indicated she had her “fingers crossed” that she would get into law school someday, but added, “I hope screwing up the Comey case won’t hurt my chances.” As corporate media bend their knee to our deranged wannabe dictator, I have never been more grateful that I don’t work for one of these craven companies. I work for you. © 2025 Andy Borowitz |